Surviving for What?

For much of our lives, this question sounds ridiculous because we don't really have a choice in the matter.  For most of us, paid work is essential to our survival; if we don't work, we don't eat.  …

…The difference between making a living and making a life is immense.  Sadly, people who focus their lives solely on the former, on acquiring wealth, often end up living a life of regret.  They confront an ailment with no single cause or cure.  Some call it social isolation or disconnectedness.  Often, it's just plain loneliness. It all seems particularly ironic in the contemporary world where we've never been more connected by technology, and yet many people—even those society deems quite successful—find themselves feeling very isolated, alone in the crowd.  What's mission for many is a sense o intimacy with other people and the time to savor deep relationships.

Such finding seem to confirm Viktor Frankl's observation that the "truth is that as the struggle for survival has subsided the question has emerged, ‘survival for what?'  Today, ever more people have the means to live but not meaning to live for."

In its more pronounced forms, isolation can be a serious, even life-threatening condition, heightening the risks of depression and heart disease.  Powerful feelings of isolation can emerge at any age or stage of life, but in the second half of life, when we no longer have the built-in inducements of job or school to impel us to mix with others, the risk tends to be greater.  Without a job to go to, many people lose a sense of saving the world,; friends die, family members move away, an their sense of savoring it is compromised, too.

In the best-selling Tuesdays with Morrie, author Mitch Albom provides a powerful alternative model: his former college professor, Morrie, who, even in his dying days, lives richly through his connections with friends and family and the lessons he passes on to them.  And the essence of Morrie's message: "Once yo learn how to die, you learn how to live."  In authentically sharing this message with his former student, Morrie embodies the spirit of saving and savoring the world: His joyfulness, even in the face of death, arises out of his willingness and ability to really give of himself to help another.  In doing so, Morrie more clearly identifies his own "something" to live for, his own special gift to give back to life.

Each of us has a special gift or contribution to which we alone give life-that unique trait or characteristic our loved ones will miss most deeply when we're gone.  It's that thing about us that most naturally defines us, the gift we naturally and wholeheartedly give away in all we do-our legacy.  For one of us, this may be a sense of humor or perspective; for another, an innate ability to draw people out, to listen.  It might be a talent for visualization, or for putting things into words.  Or perhaps we naturally are drawn to creating beautiful environments; or maybe we're the person who others rely on for direction.  Whatever it may be, we all have such a gift and long-term happiness in life requires that we express it.

Consequently, one identifying test for this gift is that when we fail to share it, we feel unfulfilled and ultimately disappointed with our lives.  Conversely, utilizing this gift in support of a cause we believe in represent the essence of savoring the world by saving it.

————–

From Something to Live For by Richard Leider and David Shapiro